And that's not even mentioning petrified animal remains.

This September, we took a family outing to the Denver Colosseum, which housed a prestigious amount of -- to keep it simple -- rocks. Mom, One, Two, and Four were able to peruse halls bedecked with as many glittering jewels as a heart could desire, and Brother Z, Baby H, and I were able to marvel at million year old horse teeth, perfectly preserved Priscacara liops, and exquisitely polished nautilus shells. We enjoyed ourselves immensely. No entry fee was required, we just had to fill in a short survey before entering the body of the expo, and as an added bonus, most of the vendors were selling their wares at wholesale prices. Needless to say, killings were made.

I initially posted an overwhelming ream of lovely pictures (they're easy to take when your subjects are as naturally photogenic as jewels and fossils. . . not to mention my human companions), but I was rightfully booed down by my wise sisters. Consequently, please enjoy a reduced collection of the gem show photos.

*This claim may be 100% erroneous