I found some yarn the other day, and I decided I wanted to make something out of it. Soon after picking up the needle and string, I had a little woolen tube which was rapidly increasing in length and needed some excuse for being. The tube slid snugly onto my arm, but I'm not skilled enough to make fingers and not cool enough to pull off a fingerless arm sleeve. It would have to be a mitten.

I have absolutely no idea how to crochet mittens.

For no reason at all, I switched to green yarn. I fashioned a crude mitt and an even cruder thumb. I slid it onto my hand and, after a little adjustment, it almost fit like a glove.

. . .

I have the funniest feeling that this ugly little mitten sums up my entire life perfectly.