Now, I realize that some of you may have gotten confused by the title, so I guess I'll just have to do two tutorials.

Twotorials. Heh. Heh heh.


Here's the first one (scroll down while shutting your eyes if you want to skip to the next one):

How to Make a Great Profile Picture:

Worried about first-impressions on the social networking site of your choice? Nervous about appearing unhip or square? Throw those cares away and have no fear!!! After extensively researching some of the most current cats on the web, I've compiled this list of few foolproof tips for a profile picture guaranteed to enchant both friends and potential friends!

†by cats, I mean 12-18 year old girls. Not actual cats (though those can work too, if you go the meme route).

1) Take the picture yourself (no trípode permite)
Whether it be alone or with a friend, using a point-and-shoot or a webcam, nothing beats the "look at how far my arm stretches!" vibe of a self-portrait.

As is 'totes obvi' in this 'pic', the foreshortening created by arm extension towards the camera is very flattering.

2) Work those labios!
Few things scuh-reeem 'attractive' louder than pouty lips. One of those few things are duck lips. Make them in every picture.

Always apologize for poor or strange lighting. Your friends will appreciate it.

3) Alterar las imágenes (tal vez añadiendo una palabra coqueta o dos)
Things automatically look keener when they're washed out and have some neat black flowers around the rim!

4) Strike the same pose repeatedly in front of a (preferably bathroom) mirror
Consistency is key here! No one likes being confronted with a new bathroom-mirror pose mid-browsing!

Fit as much of your great body into this type of 'pic' as possible. Don't worry
about obscuring your face -- that's not what people'll be focusing on!

5) Combine the tips!!!
All of these ideas are great in isolation, but they're super H-O-T. . .-T when you mix them all together!

What a picture.
What. A. Picture.


Now for tutorial #2!!!

(or, as I call them to further my own, incredibly strange and pointless ends, Profile Pictures)

1) Take a picture of the side of someone's face

2) Lightly trace its outline, using your computer screen as a lightboard*

3) Cut it out (difficult at times, but doable), and secure to a canvas

4) Paint with paint (I used black acrylic, you could use fuchsia nail polish. No judgment here.)

5) Carefully remove the top sheet and enjoy the beauteous fruits of your labor

You can do lots of exciting stuff with these -- different colors, different background colors, different canvas shapes. Lots of possibilities. I explored almost none of them.

*Try not to puncture/otherwise damage it, though. That's why I stipulated that you draw lightly.