While some of my sisters prefer to highlight the provincial side of Austria
, I was ready for the nitty gritty. With my fearless companion Miss M
by my side, we ventured deep into the underbelly of Salzburg. To the deep dark land of sweat, scandal, straddling and salt that are the Salzbugwerkz salt mines.
Our journey began as they forced us into standard issue white pajamas. Before they herded us down, down into the frigid depths of the salt mines, a place where many have gone, and--if we're being honest--pretty much everyone has returned. We were shoved onto rail cars and wooden slides--I have a fear of splinters, so this was quite terrifying--with nothing to drink but brine--water saturated with 27% NaCl, in case you didn't know--and nothing to eat save the salty walls that surrounded us. We trudged on for hours, over--very small--bodies of water, and across borders--we walked to Germany!--all the while thinking of our loved ones back home, and our fading memories of daylight.
But seriously, the tour was awesome, it felt like an industrial pajama party. Not only did they give us great outfits, but given our surroundings there was a heck of a lot of spooning and straddling going on. (Note to those who might follow in my footsteps: BRING A FRIEND! I was lucky enough to have M mount me, but it very easily could have been one of our fellow tourists from the Slovenian biker-gang)
|I think we look awesome|
|You can't tell anymore, but they had us straddling like sardines on this baby.|