1. I wish Google maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
2. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
3. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
4. Bad decisions make good stories.
5. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my 10 page technical report that I swear I have not made any changes to.
6. Part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
7. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand what was said?
8. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
9. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers. But no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
10. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair a little too far back.
(courtesy of funlol.com)