Worry

I'm going to level with you. I have not been the picture of peace and calm these last weeks. In all candor, I've been a mess. So, two nights ago, I was walking home from work with a headache from my seemingly permanently furrowed brow when I had an idea. I needed a worry doll. For those of you unfamiliar with worry dolls, Guatemalan children used to whisper their troubles to these tiny talismans and then tuck the little confidant under their pillow before going to sleep. The dolls would then take on the woes and carry the burdens of the children, and when they woke the toy--and the troubles--would have vanished.

It sounded perfect. My only issue was, where in Georgetown would one buy a Guatemalan trinket?

I was still thinking about my worries and the doll I felt convinced would soothe them when I walked in my door 30 minutes later to find Dr. P waiting for me with a large package. The box contained my Christmas present--a beautiful hand-painted jewelry box, purchased from a wonderful fair-trade organization. But as much as I adore the gift, and as gorgeous as the chest is, the best part was in the wrapping. Because when I looked at the parcel, nestled in the bow, was little doll wearing a rainbow poncho, and for a moment, I forgot my worries.

P.S. I am also very grateful for Dr. P, who was so sweet to encourage me to come to Cleveland this week, even though it means missing his birthday tomorrow. Dr. P, I am too lucky. But I guess you already knew that.

Cheese, and the Happiness it Brings

There's a lot of heavy shtuff going down at FIVE. I am briefly changing the subject to cheese. I found a wondrous website put together by Wisconsin Cheese (GO AMERICAn manufactured cheeses!!!), touting 30 really intriguing sandwiches. I didn't really look at any of the actual recipes, but I found all of the pictures to be deeply inspiring. See below:

Mmmmm. These made me think of these, then this, and then of cheese in general. Which brings me to my point -- a list of FIVE's top five favorite cheeses (at the moment). Here they are, listed in a vaguely particular order:

4. Etorki 

A newly discovered favorite, this Basque sheep's cheese was born after a forbidden night of passion between tangy Spanish exuberance and smooth French polish. The result is tangy and smooth and yummy. Go get some. Now.

5. Rosey Goat

A firm goat cheese snuggled underneath an herbaceous rosemary blanket, Rosey Goat tastes like a flower. . . a cheesy, cheesy flower. It goes superbly with a nice cherry jam. Or nothing at all.

3. Buratta

A shell of mozzarella cheese containing a blessed amalgamation of cream and creamy cream, these little balls of wonder make for wild explosions of milky ecstasy. Spoon it onto salt sprinkled tomato-steaks, or broil it with pesto and tiny tomatoes on crusty bread.

2. Humboldt Fog

Coyly referencing the haze of pot-smoke that seems to perpetually linger over its home of Humboldt County, California, this cheese. . . well, just look at the picture. It tastes like that. I've *heard* that eating this cheese is almost as enjoyable as another popular pastime in Humboldt -- namely, kayaking.

1. Cougar Gold

An annual gift from our wonderful Aunt M, Cougar Gold is good cheese, plain and simple. I suppose it could fall into the categories of 'nutty' and 'crumbly', but it mostly falls into the categories of 'delicious' and 'makes Five very happy'. 

MERCINA'S BIRTHDAY!!!! (was yesterday)

Four
(sung to the fourshortened (PUN! PUN! PUN!!!!) tune of 'Maria')

Four.
That girl on this blog -- she's called 'Four'.
It seems like such a shame, an unassuming name, for her.
Four.
I hold no ire towards #4.
but she's the sort of chick, no Harry, Tom, nor Dick,* but more!
Oh, Four!
Though her title's monosyllabic,
As a person, she's polysyllabic. . .
Four,
I hope this makes sense to you, Four!
Four!
Four!
Fooooouuuuuur!
Fo-o-our!
Fo-o-our!
Fo-oooo-or!
Four --
This song's late, not great, and not enough to celebrate
FOOOOOOUUUUUUUR!

Wondrous Four, As my sorry attempt at a birthday song illustrates, your countless virtues are not easily abridged.

The truth is, you've got it all -- and it's hard to edit 'all'.

You are truly awesome

(as in 'you inspire awe', not 'duuude, that sweet P2P is totes awes' (<-- I have no idea what that means)).

We love you. 

PS! In case you didn't see her before, check out this stylin 20-year old in the NYT style section!

*there's a non-offensive reason for this star to be there, trust me.

Chasing Rainbows

"Did you see it!" Brother C shouted as he rushed up the stairs to Mimo's living room. It was two days after Christmas, and with Two and Momo in Cleveland our spirits were less than festive. He reached us breathless, and repeated his question, "Did you see it?! It was beautiful!" The rest of us, with our eyes fixed on a menagerie of electronic devices, had clearly missed the divine vision that had provoked our brothers agitation. I tried to summon the energy to pretend I cared, but all I managed was a weak "What... what are you talking about?"
"The rainbow!" He replied. "Quick! We can still catch it!"
We were all tired, and not in the mood to play. Z didn't have his shoes on, and it was raining outside. But sweet Brother C's eyes were twinkling, and there's something so gosh darn compelling about a grown man, with a very grownup job, bursting with guileless joy. So out we ran into the rain, to chase a rainbow.
And like most folks looking for pots of gold or what have you, we didn't find what were were looking for. The light had faded, and the bow with it. But in its place there was a beautiful sunset. And in our hearts there was a renewed gratitude for simple joys, like sunsets and rainbows, in a very complicated world.

Brother C is our family's original best-ever Christmas gift. Delivered 26 Christmas-eve's ago, he always manages to keep the holiday spirit, even when it means that his birthday comes and goes with little acknowledgement, let alone fanfare. Thanks big brother for once again helping us all keep things in perspective. ♥

 

Have a Coke and a smile.

Yesterday I woke up to the news that Two had been moved in the wee hours to the ICU. Not an auspicious start to the New Year. The kids were playing in the other room with the dogs, Mr. One had left for an early morning meeting, and, though I wasn't a tearful mess (which is actually a bit surprising, if you know me), I was feeling alone and deeply worried for my beautiful sister. I sat on my bed, a little paralyzed. It's such an odd and terrible thing to wait and hope and pray for an organ donation. Two's life is literally hanging by a thread, and the only thing that can save her is a tragedy in someone else's world. I don't like to think about it. Who would?

As I sat there staring into space and feeling sad, the sweet little Princess came padding down the hall with a can of cold Diet Coke clutched to her belly. She knows these are strictly off-limits. Since becoming pregnant (or, rather, discovering the fact), I've cut way back on my "drinking problem" and only indulge in that awfully delicious stuff very occasionally. I think she must have found this can hidden behind the kale in the vegetable drawer. Why she thought to dig it up at 7:30 on a Sunday morning was truly beyond me, and I wasn't in the mood to argue with my increasingly defiant first-born. But she waddled my way with the sweetest smile on her sleepy little face -- hardly the battle-ready look I've come to expect when she knows she's making trouble. "Here, Mommy. Maybe you should have a Diet Coke." Her words, so weird and unexpected, actually made me tear up a bit.

I'm sure Princess H had no idea why I was so down that morning. I don't even know what clued her in. But, in that sad hour, she thought to offer her downtrodden mom a treat with an embarrassingly proven history of bringing a twinkle to my eye. I was amazed at how much her odd act of charity touched me.

Every once in a while, epic joy or challenge gives us a glimpse of eternity. It can be transcendently beautiful. But that perspective can also cast a harsh light on trifling things. Sometimes that can be healthy. But one of the great lessons I (and, apparently Princess H) learned from my endlessly wise and inspirational sister, Two, is that appreciating and striving for deep things doesn't mean you can't enjoy harmless, shallow pleasures along the way. And if a Diet Coke makes you smile, then cheers to you, my friend.

A Bittersweet Christmas Update

Dear Friends,

As you may have gathered, our beloved Two has been struggling more than usual with her health these last several weeks. She was diagnosed with chronic rejection of her transplanted lungs earlier this year, and, though she has had many ups and downs, the downs have been winning lately. Things reached a crisis point this weekend, culminating in a rather dramatic Christmas Eve medivac flight to the Cleveland Clinic, where her doctors -- whom we all know and love and respect as the very best in the world -- are working to stabilize and keep her comfortable until a new set of lungs become available. She is doing a bit better now than she was a few days ago, but needs all the love and prayers her friends and the universe can spare.

In typical, mind-blowing fashion, Two was singing Christmas carols and cracking jokes as the flight crew whisked her out of the ICU to her waiting jet. She remains the most amazing, resilient, inspiring and deeply beautiful soul I've ever encountered. The privilege of loving her as a sister and friend is perhaps the most humbling thing I've ever done. She is facing this hard road with a song in her heart. Her grace, tenacity, patience and faith during this latest chapter just deepen my love and awe.

We know that so many of you are filled with love and concern for our sweet sister. Thank you. Your support means the world to us all. For those of you who would like to stay informed on her condition, we've added a new tab at the top of the blog, Two's News, which we'll keep as updated as we can. If past experience is any indicator, there may be many days where there isn't much noteworthy info to share, so please don't fret if there isn't a daily post. Please be confident that if anything important happens, we will let you know there.

For now, we wait and we pray. Mom -- who is both a saint and a bulldog and has literally saved Two's life so many times it's terrifying to even try to count -- is with her in the hospital now. She is at the top of the transplant list, but we have no idea when the stars will align for that to happen. It could be days or weeks or months.

During this beautiful season of thanksgiving, renewal and joy, I am so touched and humbled by the love and gratitude Two radiates, despite the incredible challenges she faces. As we celebrate the birth of Christ, I can't help but think how our actions and attitudes are the most eloquent form of worship. I am so easily bogged down by workaday cares, I am wont to forget what a privilege my so-called problems are. I am so grateful for her radiant light, and the way that it warms my soul through dark times and brightens my happiest moments. Thanks to all you wonderful friends who share and reflect that light. Please say a prayer that it will just keep getting brighter.

With Love,

One, and all the TD's

Some Christmas Lovelies

In honor of Four starting a Pinterest profile, I thought that I'd brighten your season with a collage of my favorite Christmas loverlies:

Beautiful.