So, Valentine's Day.
I feel like people have been super into it this year. I started hearing festive murmurs more than two weeks ago, which is keen for Christmas or Flag Day or something really important like that, but strikes me as premature for V-Day. Don't misunderstand me -- I'm not one of those people who can't stand the thought of other people having a special time to show love for each other. In fact, I actually like the idea of an entire holiday dedicated to a special warm feeling!
I'm just not sure about the choice of special warm feeling.
I mean, love is swell and all, but does it deserve a day -- practically an entire month -- when all the other feelings don't even get two moments of silence to rub together? We need a bit of diversity in our emotionally motivated feast days, by jove!
"But Glorianna," you may object "you can't make all of these excellent points and then run off without offering some sort of solution!" That is why I am officially proposing a new holiday -- one to celebrate all of those people who really don't like other people at the moment. I propose we call it Saint Polycarp's Day. Mr. Polycarp was a 1st century Smyrnish (ean? (off?)) martyr. He is also the patron saint of earaches, which inspire a dull, constant, boring pain in your head similar to that experienced around people you don't like. The holiday can be today (7 is a prime number and has always struck me as nice and moody), and we can appropriate a lot from it's fuzzier cousin a week nigh: the cutesy color scheme; the excessive amounts of chocolate; I've even mocked up a couple of Polycarp Day cards to distribute to your least favorite people.
I don't know about you, but getting a couple of these in the mail every February 7th would just about ruin my day. And that's a beautiful feeling which should be treasured and celebrated.
So I invite y'all to join with me (but, like, not really) in wishing all of those special people you really despise an extra miserable St Polycarp's Day.
(I made a card for that, too:)