This week I was invited to sing at a conference for all of these muckie mucks. The catch was that I had to sing a specific song. I didn't know it ("The List" from The Mikado by Gilbert and Sullivan), the song wasn't suited to my voice and I didn't like it very much. So I decided to change the words... a lot. The gist of the story is there is an executioner who gets to decide who to kill and who to let live, and no one will miss any of them. The conference organizer was essentially trying to get the message across to all of these A-list celebrities, authors, artists, producers, directors, scientists etc. that while they all thought they were very important, there were plenty of other equally important people who were waiting, willing and ready to step in at a moments notice. Since subtlety is not my specialty and since I love to rhyme, I decided to rewrite all of the lyrics and turn it into a roast for all 50 speakers. It was a lyrical challenge, to be sure. I knew that it would either be a huge hit or a huge failure (especially since I hadn't told the conference organizers about my lyrical switcheroo). Maybe it's the diva in me, but I've always had the feeling go big or go home. A frenzy of rhyming ensued. Three multi-hour rhyming sessions later, I had a roast that would either toast me alive or set the crowd on fire. Gratefully, it did the later. Here are some of the folks I roasted.