Putting the Grrr back into Grrreeeen or A Tale of Two Greens, Part I

With St. Patty's Day approaching, here are a few recipes that are sure to make your guests as green with delight as with envy.

Chari's Salsa Verde with Ginger

This salty sweet tangy yum is great on most anything but cereal and cake.  They are made with Tomatillios.  While one might think they are related to tomatoes, their closest relative is actually the gooseberry.

The tomatillos look like they're covered in Chinese Lanterns.  I think they're so cute!

6 medium tomatillos

3 jalapeno peppers (depending on how spicy you want it, add more or less.)

2-3 medium limes, juice and peel

3 tbsp white or rice vinegar

1 medium large bunch cilantro

1 white or yellow onion

1 walnut sized knob of ginger

1 tbsp sugar

1/8 tsp salt (optional)

Wash everything.  Put tomatillos, peppers and onions in the oven on 450 for 30 minutes or til soft.  Remove and let cool. Place peppers in a brown paper bag (they'll be easier to peel) and leave for 15 minutes.  In the mean time, juice the limes, mix with sugar, vinegar, grated ginger and salt.  When veggies cool, place in blender, food processor or large mortar and pestle.  Add cilantro and pulse (or do whatever it is you do with a pestle) until you have a slightly chunky liquid.  Keep in a tight container for a week or so in your fridge.

But I'm guessing it doesn't last that long!

Guess where I'm going?!

I'll give you a hint.  It's not a Selena Gomez concert.

The babies and I leave next week for an entire month!  We're going to visit old friends, participate in a memorial for my grandfather, and generally introduce Tiny and Princess H to the endless splendors of their ancestral homeland.  We're keeping our fingers crossed that the dashing and very hardworking Mr. One can sneak away to join us near the end of our escapade. Can. Not. Wait.

Slurping Workmate? Ask 5.

Q: I sit in an open cubicle environment at work, and the guy next to me grazes through food and is quite literally eating all day long. The problem with this scenario is that he smacks. The person on the opposite side of him and I have tried gentle prodding to get him to stop on his own. We started with innocent questions like “what *are* you eating?” and “wow, you must *really* be enjoying that [insert foodstuff here].” There was one time we even tried “sounds like that’s lip-smacking good.” In every instance, he has either remained oblivious or has confused our comments with begging for food. Can you please help me come up with something clever to say that would help a 30-year old who still chews with his mouth open realize that he’s driving everyone around him crazy?

A, A, A, A, and A:

One (Former Cube-dweller; Current Expert on Messy Eating): It sounds like you've already made a noble effort to send hints. But this is a guy we're talking about, right? If he's anything like my guy, you need to spell it out for him in language that is so completely unambiguous it will probably feel rude (e.g. "When you eat, you sound like a warthog in heat. It's so distracting I can't work."). Such candor can be awkward. But you have access to an amazing resource that Mr. One and I don't: the H.R. Professional. Yes. I am advising you to be a snitch. But it's in the interest of the greater good. Your message will be delivered with tact and discretion, while preserving cordial relations with your cubemate. And your friendly H.R. peep is trained to handle this sort of thing -- technically, harassment "occurs when an employer creates, condones or permits a hostile, intimidating or offensive work environment." Clearly this qualifies.

Two (Professional Noise-maker and Perspective-giver): To she who's ears are being violated: use a headset for your phone and when not on the phone, use them to listen to your Ipod.

Three (Resident Female Frat-Boy Poet):

To the chagrin of my loved-ones and kin,
though I look like a lady, I'm a frat-boy within.
And so I would say (or perhaps I would shout)
"Dude, that noise is disgusting, please cut it out!"

Four (Easily Irritated): I knew a girl who had a similar problem. You can listen to her story and find my answer here: (skip to 1:45 and insert your beloved cubicle mate's name wherever she says "Ernie").

Everyone's happy!

Five (Occasional Slurper, But Ne're Smacker): Just take his food when he offers it. All of it. No more smacking, and you've got a well stocked cubicle. Problem solved.

Cat Pot

Yesterday, I visited one of our local pet supply shops to pick up some goodies for our marvelous dogs; Beau, our elder pooch, had slipped a disk and was in urgent need of some edible comfort. Guilt compelled me to treat Biscuit the cat, too. Said pet store is located on the same street as at least 8 marijuana dispensaries, and as I walked down the block in my customarily baggy threads, clutching a small plastic pouch filled with catnip (I swear that's what was in it), I couldn't help but feel delinquent.

The feeling wasn't helped by the M.I.A. song 'Paper Planes' repeating itself over and over again in my head as I carefully loaded a few scrap pillows full of the weed. But I think the little cat cannabis cushions turned out pretty nicely (I stuffed them with some strips of old socks and a ton of feline ganja), and Biscuit certainly enjoyed them.

Biscuit has been acting extra adorable lately.

It's probably because of the herb.

Brother S will undoubtedly mistake (or just use) this as tea in the near future.

Leon loves girl scout cookies, but only if they're homemade.

A few weeks ago, Five re-created the mouthwatering concoctions known to most as "Samoas" and to me as "The Most Delicious Girl Scout Cookies Ever!"

Last night I was bemoaning the absence of cookies in our house and Five encouraged me to  do something about it. So I did.

These magical delights were easier to make than I had anticipated--except the step where you fuse the coconut caramel to the shortbread. That wasn't easy at all...but, the end product made it totally worth it :)

recipe courtesy of baking bites

Homemade Samoas

Cookies

1 cup butter, soft

1/2 cup sugar

2 cups all purpose flour

1/4 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

up to 2 tbsp milk

Preheat oven to 350F.
In a large mixing bowl, cream together butter and sugar. Mix in flour, baking powder and salt at a low speed, followed by the vanilla and milk. The dough should come together into a soft, not-too-sticky ball. Add in a bit of extra flour if your dough is very sticky.
Roll the dough (working in two or three batches) out between pieces of wax paper to about 1/4-inch thickness (or slightly less) and use a 1 1/2-inch cookie cutter to make rounds. Place on a parchment lined baking sheet and use a knife, or the end of a wide straw, to cut a smaller center hole. Repeat with remaining dough. Bake cookies for 9-12 minutes, or until bottoms are lightly browned and cookies are set. 

Topping

3 cups shredded coconut (sweetened or unsweetened)

12-oz good-quality chewy caramels

1/4 tsp salt

3 tbsp milk

8 oz. dark or semisweet chocolate (chocolate chips are ok)

Preheat oven to 300. Spread coconut evenly on a parchment-lined baking sheet (preferably one with sides) and toast 20 minutes, stirring every 5 minutes, until coconut is golden. Cool on baking sheet, stirring occasionally.

Unwrap the caramels and place in a large microwave-safe bowl with milk and salt. Cook on high for 3-4 minutes, stopping to stir a few times to help the caramel melt. When smooth, fold in toasted coconut with a spatula.
Using the spatula or a small offset spatula, spread topping on cooled cookies, using about 2-3 tsp per cookie. Reheat caramel for a few seconds in the microwave if it gets too firm to work with.

While topping sets up, melt chocolate in a small bowl. Heat on high in the microwave in 45 second intervals, stirring thoroughly to prevent scorching. Dip the base of each cookie into the chocolate and place on a clean piece of parchment paper. Transfer all remaining chocolate (or melt a bit of additional chocolate, if necessary) into a piping bag or a ziplock bag with the corner snipped off and drizzle finished cookies with chocolate.
Let chocolate set completely before storing in an airtight container.

Makes about 3 1/2-4 dozen cookies.

Enjoy!

Get Movin!

I am INCREDIBLY lazy. Usually this doesn't bother me, but considering a large portion of my portfolio at work is devoted to Michelle Obama's Let's Move! campaign, I feel like a big, fat hypocrite these days, especially when I'm writing sentences like "Eating healthy foods is important, but we all need to be physically active -- at least 60 minutes for kids and 30 minutes for adults most days of the week!"

So the other day Let's Move! inspired me to get moving. It turns out that pranks count as exercise when they involve lifting heavy boxes of one-pagers and booklets on physical activity.

I think Michelle would be proud?
Right?

A Woman's Fashion Manifesto: Andrej Pejic and What's Wrong With Fashion

This isn't a typical post for me or this blog, so I ask for your patience.

As a teenager, I’d go shopping and wonder why the shirts never had room in the places I needed room and pants gapped where they should have hugged.  It seemed like models were these breastless, hipless, creatures who walked the runway completely separate from the reality of the female form.  One fashion photographer told me that most models were between 12 and 14 years old.  I had this theory that women's clothes weren't being designed for women at all, but for men.  I don't mean to please men.  I mean for a man's body type.

I warned you about his cheek bones

Enter Andrej Pejic, the new wunder-kind of the modeling world.  He's 19, 5'11, has the body of a man but an "androgynous look" with long, platinum locks, painted lips and cheekbones to die for.  Designers love him because, as Hillary Alexander, chief fashion correspondent for the Daily Telegraph, said, "...A lot of designers [are] designing for this impossible ideal for someone who is 5ft 11in, no hips and no chest."  

This is not intended to be a tirade against Mr. Pejic.  I congratulate him on his success.  But I am a woman.  Recently, I was in a department store in New York City and if something fit one part of me properly, it inevitably didn't fit another key part. Even when I was completely emaciated at 90-something pounds after my transplant, I had something -- a very little something, but something -- of a figure. I want a designer who designs clothes for, well, for me.  I want the chest buttons to close on my blouse.  I want dresses and shirts that show I have a waist.  I want pants that don't make me look fat because I have hips.  And I'm talking about sizes from 0 to XXL.  Even when you're skinny, clothes designed without thought for the existence of the natural curvature of a woman can make your body look off.  And while you're at it, I don't want to have to wear next-to-nothing to look cute and current.  Take note Prada, Bloomingdale's, Escada, Nordstroms, Valentino, Gap, Ralph Lauren, Nieman Marcus, Calvin Klein, Urban Outfitters, Limited, Target, Michael Kors, whomever you may be: I am not interested in pretty clothes that are made to fit a man's body.  Because no matter how badly I want them to go away and how hard I try, my hips aren't going anywhere and I don't want them to.

I am a woman.  My body is beautiful.  Regardless of size, women’s bodies typically are.  And guess what?  The things that makes them beautiful are our hips, our waists, our chests and by the way, covering them appropriately is far more attractive than wearing things that are too tight, too low, too short, etc.  Women's fashion is a multi-billion dollar industry.  Please start designing for me.  For us.

Sincerely,
Two

A note from the other Sisters: Have you seen Two's TED Talk?  It's kind of amazing....