And on the topic of your hips...

Here is one of my favorite snacks.  It is made with sushi rice, inari wrappers (dried tofu, soaked in this wonderful sweet, savory mixture of yum.), nori (roasted seaweed -- for this one, I used strips that you can probably get at the same asian market as the inari for 2 to 4 bucks for a few hundred.  Great snacks too!)  Inari wraps are Japanese, but can usually be found at Korean or general Asian markets.  A package with forty cost me about $8.

8 Inari wrappers (they should be rectangular, and open like a pita cut in half)
about 2 cups of cooked white or brown sushi rice
1 tbsp rice vinegar
1 pinch sugar*
1 pinch salt*
8 nori strips

Mix vinegar, sugar and salt together.  Let stand until sugar and salt dissolve.  Next, add seasoned vinegar to white or brown sushi rice.  Mix well in a slashing motion, trying to avoid smashing the rice or cutting up the grains.  Next, pick up an inari wrapper, and gently open the opening.  Start stuffing rice, until the corners are filled and the wrapper is stuffed, but not over flowing with rice.  The wrapper should be a little bit elastic.  Pull the wrapper back enough that you can put a fourth of the inari strip next to the wall of rice.  Repeat on other side of wrapper.  It should look like you have a little inari basket at the end.  Makes about 4 servings.  Just to warn you, I could eat all 8 myself so you might want to make a few extras!.  

*If you're using seasoned rice vinegar, no need to make the vinegar dilution.  The vinegar already has salt and sugar added to it.

Happy Birthday, Mister T!

Our nephew is three!

  
The Princess and I made him a chocolate cake with fresh strawberries and peanut butter frosting.  The cake was good; the frosting was awesome.  I'd never made PB frosting before, so I hunted around on the Internet for some ideas.  Everyone seemed to be using Ina Garten's recipe, and giving it rave reviews.  I made mine using a bit less butter and sugar, and a pinch more salt and vanilla.  Just to be contrary.


  

Strawberries were the perfect fresh counterpoint.  Next time, I think I'll add some sliced bananas between the layers, too...

The only downside to this particular confection was that poor Tiny and his similarly-aged cousin -- neither of whom is eating nuts yet -- were forced to look on with legitimately drooly mouths.  Poor kiddos.   

Backhanded Love Poems

There once was a baby named Tiny
Who had an adorable hiney
He'd make messes, he'd bite
He would wail through the night
But I'm awfully glad that he's miney


The Princess!  My heart she has caught-y
She's cute even when she is naughty
The girl is supernal
My love is eternal
But gosh! I wish she'd use the potty


The Doglets are small and they're yappy
Their manners are, frankly, quite crappy (sometimes literally)
Their gig would be done
'Cept I love Mr. One
And they make him so terribly happy

Overly Affectionate Nannies? Ask 5.

Q:We live on a street with about 20 kids under the age of eight. Everyone gets along really well, except one of the families has a live-in nanny who insists on picking up my daughter and hugging her and kissing her. My (almost 3 year old) daughter is many things, but accommodating to overly-touchy-near-strangers is not one of them. The nanny speaks almost no English, and is an older lady. I'm sure that it's just a part of her culture to be so touchy... but how do I get her to stop bugging my kid? (PS: talking to the mother (the nanny's boss) isn't an option--it would be incredibly uncomfortable all around, and she can be a bit aloof.)

A(x5):

One (Loves her kids even more than she hates conflict): Never one to shy away from a righteous confrontation, I have no doubt our own Mom could resolve the fawning nanny situation in a flash, (and the woman (and her boss) would become Mom's lifelong friends and disciples. . . or she'd verbally ninja-chop their teeth out. But I digress). Mom also taught us that doing/not doing/enduring stuff that you don't want to do/desperately want to do/think will kill you is an essential life tool. Presuming hugs from the weirdo nanny won't actually hurt your kid, I'd try to cram some lesson about getting along and respecting the elderly down her sweet little throat and tell her to deal with it. I certainly wasted many youthful hours feeling angry/bitter/miserable about Mom's faintly Tiger-esque "buck up, Kiddo!" approach to things. But it's the reason I can swim, went to college and converse with customer service representatives without resorting to felonious violence. Thanks, Mom!!


Two (Practicing Invalid): Tell the lady your daughter is immuno-suppressed (only if she is, of course...). People can't argue with that.

Three (Senior Scientist-ish): I had a friend named Igor P. who was obsessed with how he could make his dog salivate. Personally I'd be more impressed if he could get the b%#ch to stop slobbering, but I digress. Every day he'd ring a bell before bringing in Fido's food. After a while of this the dog would hear the bell, expect his dinner, and yes, drool. Eventually, the poor puppy just had to hear the bell to get her glands going.
I hear you saying "thanks for the mediocre science lesson Three, but what does this dog have to do with my baby?" Well I love babies, but even I have been known to relinquish my darling Tiny if he's sobbing. So here's what you do. Every time the nanny comes into view pinch your three year-old, HARD. This should in turn make the child cry. Eventually no pinch will be necessary, and the mere sight of the nuzzling-nanny will be enough to turn your bundle of joy into an inconsolable mess.
Case Closed.


Four (Resident Expert on Unwanted Hugs): As someone who often receives distressing hugs (usually from someone whose name rhymes with Spruce), I can say--with complete authority--that they suck. Hugs should be comforting representations of affection, but when they come from someone who you honestly don't feel any real affection towards, they become agonizingly awkward--and occasionally smelly--body sandwiches (I know the analogy is weak, but whatever). Despite my disdain for these wretched embraces, I must urge you not to intervene. As someone whose mother never, ever sided with her children on things like this, I think it served me well in the long run. I learned to deal with uncomfortable situations and--though it didn't turn me into a picture of tolerance and love--it did equip me to function effectively in most settings. I would tell your daughter to count her blessings. She's lucky to have this sweet foreign nanny hugging her instead of a lecherous 300+ lb, sexagenarian man. . .

Five (President, AntiSocial Party): As one who has never really dug hugs (especially from unfamiliar sources), I understand that platonic PDAs can be legit scarring. Some people just don't get that not everyone appreciates being squeezed by their love vice, and it can be awkward to inform them so. I'd suggest deception as a possible solution: try to convey to the nanny that your daughter has a chronic and communicable virus. If that doesn't stop her, train your daughter to hack on the nanny every time she embraces (preferably with spraying saliva). This should engage the reptilian center of the woman's brain, which cares more about self-preservation than displays of affection.

Humans are such amusing creatures. . .

A superb little video from the splendiferous folks at

National Public Radio (Hoho! Irony! . . . You get it? No? Yes? No.).

via www.swiss-miss.com

And, speaking about answers to questions . . .

First ever Ask 5 tomorrow

Featuring: wrinkly faces and awkward embraces!

Stuffed French Toast

Here is the recipe for the "Stuffed French Toast" I made on Monday. It was a little sweet-probably because I added extra sugar...oops!--but the masses seemed to enjoy it! The recipe is taken (almost directly) from MarthaStewart.com, so any grievances about it can be taken up with her... :)

Image courtesy of  Food Blogga

Serves 4

• 1 loaf bread (about 4 inches in diameter), cut into eight 1-inch-thick slices
• 3 tablespoons apricot jam
• 1/4 cup (2 ounces) cream cheese, room temperature
• 2 large eggs
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 to 2 tablespoons butter
• Pure maple syrup, for serving (optional)

Using a paring knife, cut a horizontal slit in each bread slice to form a pocket. In a bowl, blend jam and cream cheese. Spoon 1 tablespoon mixture into each pocket.

In a shallow bowl, whisk together eggs, milk, and cinnamon until combined. In a large nonstick skillet, melt 1 tablespoon butter over medium-low heat. Lay half the bread slices in egg mixture, letting them soak 5 seconds on each side.

Place slices in skillet; cook until golden brown, 3 to 4 minutes per side. Repeat with remaining bread, adding more butter to skillet if needed. If desired, serve French toast with syrup, whipped cream, bananas foster or fresh fruit.

Read more at Marthastewart.com: Apricot-Stuffed French Toast - Martha Stewart Recipes 

Yeah!

Brother L shared this with me (and most people he knows) a couple years ago.
It's become my go-to anthem for when I feel like I could explode with happiness.