That nerd who turned into a super hottee

Clockwise, from top, center: Pistachios, Vanilla Beans, Prunes, Blueberries, coco nobs, raisins, hazelnuts, cherries, pecans, oranges, apricots, coconut sugar, sunflower seeds, white sesame seeds, ginger, pumpkin seeds. Center: Steel cut oats.

You know that guy from middle school who was kindof dorky and wore glasses and you ignored him and now that your a grown up, you're like, he's hot and successful and really nice -- wow -- I was stupid for ignoring him? Oats are like that.

We're so used to them being served like flavorless mush, we forget how great they are. They are so fantastic, in fact, that I made a temporary shrine to them on my kitchen table which you can see above. What inspired this? Well, first is we've been a little down on our blog game of late and since none of the other sisters [MERCINA] are going to pick up their game [AHEM AHEM SNEEZELIBERTYKIMBERGLORIANNA COUGH COUGH] I thought I would do it. Secondly, I ate a lot over the holidays. I think I personally consumed over three dozen cookies. This is never a good idea. Especially when cOATs will be coming off soon enough and everyone will see the remnants of the cookie. So I thought, "I should take it easy on the sugar. Why don't I have some steel cut oats for breakfast?" But right there was the rosemary maple glaze my eternaboo had used the night before to cook. I thought, "I'll just cook them in there." Peeps, it was fantastic. Since then, I've been on a bit of an oat kick. Yoni left town, I emptied the cupboards and made an oat foodscape. You could say oats have kind of changed my life.  

So to kick-start your resolutions, I give you a few ideas:

OAT BASICS: 4 parts liquid to 1 part steel cut oats

risOATo
Sautée onions in a little butter. Add 1 cup steel cut oats. In another pot, boil 3 cups veggie stock and 1 cup white wine or beer. Ladle into oats, letting them absorb the moisture. When you've used all of the liquid, add some pecorino cheese and sautéed mushrooms

VARIATION: Sautée oats and onions and boil 2 cups broth, one cup beer and one cup apple juice. Ladle liquid into oats until absorbed. When done, add grated cheddar and chunks of apple and sausage. Serve with freshly grated cheese.

Steel Cut Oats with Maple, Sage, Dried Apricot and Pumpkin Seeds
Cook the rosemary with the oatmeal and add an extra pinch of salt. Either serve it with cream and extra maple syrup for breakfast -- it's really good -- or serve it as a side. I think it would be particularly good with beef or anything that is a little gamey.

Morning Oat Mixes: Dried cherry, Cocoa Nibs and Hazlenut. Blueberry, almond, cinnamon, dried ginger and brown sugar. Toasted Sesame, Coconut and dried mango. Apple compote, cream and pecan.

So enjoy your hotee (cereal) this morning and if you'd like, every morning. Seriously.

D*mn the Torpedoes

A few quick thoughts:

1) I'm one of those awful people who typically just looks at the pictures on the blogs I "read."

2) I just ate an entire pineapple all by my lonesome. 

3) I am incredibly excited for what the new year has to bring. 

There's something magic about welcoming a fresh beginning surrounded by people you adore. We had a small silly party to ring in the new year, in our sweet little home. We ate peasant food, and played parlor games. No champagne was popped, and we almost missed the final countdown. It was not what one might call an "epic" night. But you know what it was? Perfect. 

Happy New Year everyone. 

May 2014 bring us all innumerable joys, adventures and triumphs.   

One final thought before I go. If you've recently hosted a party at your house, it's best to put away all of the bowls of peanut butter m&ms as soon as possible. 

Blurred Lines

"ugh. that chick was trippin' lizards, yo"

. . . Nothing.

"dewd, my belly does not have any food in it right now."

. . . Nope.

"soooo when are we going to go do that thing we talked about that one time?"

. . . *crickets*

"where you been, man?"

"Just busy with some stuff and things"

"want to grab coffee?"

"I don't know. I have a dentist appointment next Tuesday, so I don't know if we'll be able to sync up our schedules"

"come on. we haven't talked in ages. you're usually free thursdays, right? let's meetup for a canolli or something."

...

"Sure"

Boom. Fraped.

Frape (not frappé) is a new word I made up last night after realizing that I'm terrified of becoming an overbearing friend person, a.k.a. a frapist. You can probably figure out its roots if you think about it. . . yeah. You get it.

I've been thinking lately about when being friendly and proactive in relationships crosses the line from appropriately thoughtful into uncomfortably persistent, and I've determined that I have absolutely no idea. Forcing the physical act [of hanging out] is wrong and nobody should do it. But what exactly counts as forcing? Four texts? A phone call? More than one email? For me, three chronologically distant yet consecutive texts feels pretty frapey -- because really, how many more can you send before the other person become so uncomfortable they reply, even though they really don't want to? After two, I pretty much understand that you've been over me for, like, four months already and the resulting shame that I didn't tire of your company before you tired of mine means I hate you forever and ever and I never want to see you again.

. . . I realize that this is probably not healthy.

For obvious reasons, yes, but some others as well. My eagerness to avoid engaging in non-consensual friendship means that I tend to just not get to know people unless they get to know me first. This is unfair, illogical, and I'm sure excludes me from many enriching relationships. But it's the case. The good (?) news is that I actually quite enjoy spending time alone, so this intense social dysfunction doesn't bother me all that much. However, on those rare occasions when I do shoot off the first communique, I quickly spiral into the above mentioned doubt-spiral and shut out people who I actually think might be pretty neato. Not productive.

I don't even think frape is bad, in the abstract. If you think someone is keen, of course you should put some real effort into getting to know them better! I probably wouldn't have any friends if people hadn't done that with me. But I just can't bring myself to. . . you know.

I don't even know what the point I'm trying to get across here is.

I think it's easiest to just associate with blood relatives -- if they think you're lame they'll tell you, but you still get to be buddies anyway because that's just the rule.

(ok siblings? Ok.)

Because I don't have any other good conclusion, I'll leave you with the frapists' anthem, by Blondie:

Why Christmas is the worst time of year to have a baby... Unless you're Mary.

Discussion of Christmas consumerism is everywhere right now. Maybe it's because I don't have kids or maybe it's because I don't watch regular TV. Maybe it's because I have been so distracted by my work, I haven't had time to bask in the capitalist pageant that Christmas has supposedly become. But right now, as I sit here with Yoni and look at family pictures, that's not the part of Christmas I'm feeling. I'm pretty into Jesus all year long and while I love all of the songs and celebrations of His birth, I'm into that stuff for most of the year. I'm just SO grateful to be alive. Two years ago, that seemed like a very distant hope. Because of my family's tireless care, my doctors and nurses top flight work, because of countless prayers offered and my donor family's generosity it is a very present reality. So on this joyous eve of Christmas, I want to say two things:

1. Happy birthday Corban. I am sorry for the many times my medical craziness has high-jacked your birthday celebration today which I have done yet again by writing a post reminding everyone that on your birthday, that is what I am thinking about; 

and 

2. Thank you. Thank you so very much for your love, your support and your kindness to me and my family over the past years. 

Wishing you warmth, love and joy this holiday season!

PS. All birthday wishes for Corban are welcome. He is really great. Since either Jesus, Santa or I usually trump his celebration card, I think he deserves extra love. Also... in case you're wondering ... Corban really loves Jesus... and Narae, who he is married to. They're pretty much his favorite people in the Universe. 

Happy Birthday Jesus ... and Corban!

To warm your heart

This ad makes me want to buy the world a Coke. Stay cozy y'all!

A Mormon, A Lesbian and Baby Jesus

A word of advice: If you're invited to dinner, it's probably a bad idea to bring up abortion during the main course. Especially if the family is Mormon. But for some reason, I thought it was the right time and place to air my left-leaning views about the topic which almost a decade later, I understand is only something a rude, self righteous teenager would do. I could see the husband's face getting red. A very mild mannered man, he was finishing medical school at Johns Hopkins University. "I have been in the room during abortions and there is a darkness there." He went onto explain that from the time he was young, his parents had taken in single, expectant mothers through the birth of their children and cared for the young women until after their children were adopted and/or after they had a more secure place in the world to care for their children. 

The other night, I attended an event held by Women in Government, an organization that brings women of all political stripes together to discuss issues without the partisan rancor. I met Pat Spearman. She is a veteran, an ordained minister, a former police officer and the first lesbian ever to serve in the Nevada State Senate. I happened to sit next to her when she got a text message. It was from a 12 year old boy who was in the middle of basket ball practice. She explained that when his mother was expecting, she was on the brink of poverty. It was a choice between providing for the children she had or the financial ruin that the pregnancy and expenses of another child would bring. Senator Spearman had an idea. She told the woman that money should not be a deciding factor of whether or not to terminate a pregnancy. Ms. Spearman promised to help provide financially and emotionally for the child, which she has done for a dozen years.

Jesus sounded like the dictionary definition of an unwanted pregnancy. Despite His Father's divinity, Jesus was the bastard child of a fourteen year old, single, minority woman in the 1st century. Talk about a nightmare. Single, pregnant women were frequently stoned to death, violently ending life and the potential for it. If Mary's cousin Elizabeth wouldn't have swooped in, giving Mary food, shelter and emotional support during and after the pregnancy, who knows if the Christian world would exist, let alone have known Jesus as their Lord and Savior? 

Abortion is not a new phenomenon. It's as old as history. The missing link in the abortion debate isn't political: it's human. A study of women who receive abortions by the Guttmacher Institute suggests that almost three quarters of women do not feel financially able to care for a/nother child. Almost 50% of respondents were afraid of the implications of single motherhood. 20% felt pressure from a sexual partner or parent to end a pregnancy. Pregnancy carries enormous professional stigma and many women are fired or never rehired after taking maternity leave.  Many women facing abortion don't see a choice. They see abortion as their only real option. They don't see the possibility of a real life for their children; so why would they bring them into the world? 

It speaks volumes about the Mormon family that they continued making the lives of young women and children possible and that we are still friends. It speaks volumes about the Senator that twelve years later, she plays an active role in the young man's life that she helped save. They have different beliefs about whether or not or when abortion should be legal,* but they are doing more to address the issue of abortion than any lobbyist in Washington, any court ruling or any tirade on facebook. 

If we're pro-choice, we need to make sure women know they have options beyond professional and social stigma, unemployment and poverty. That we'll rally around if they give their baby another loving home through adoption or bring a child up themselves, despite any medical challenges that baby might face. If women or men decide to leave the workforce to care for children, we should be ready and willing to hire them when they return to employment outside of the home.  If we're pro-life, we need to try and provide children a life worth living once they exit the womb, with education, housing, health care and nurturing relationships. We need to advocate for maternity and paternity leave and work to have family friendly workplaces. 

Antiabortion legislation certainly didn't save baby Jesus. It was a friend who was willing to step in and pick up the extra slack.Who was there to love and support Mary. Elizabeth didn't tell Mary what to do. She let her come and stay until Mary and Joseph figured how to deal with this unexpected, extremely inconvenient miracle. 

So between the dinner parties and cookies of the Christmas season, take a moment to think about the Elizabeth's in the world. Whether they're a Mormon family in Salt Lake or a lesbian legislator in Nevada, they're bringing peace to the discomforted and miracles to even the worst dinner guests. 

While elective abortion is considered a serious sin, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints does not have a political position on abortion regarding its legality. For more information, visit mormon.org

A little update

Whoo-wee! Gosh a lot has happened since the last time I posted! I don't exactly know where to start!

Let's see. Premal and I went on a little retreat to the mountains where we enjoyed our first real Colorado snow of the season. Then, Momo and I drove to New Haven where I exchanged my mother for Glorianna, Kimber the babies at which point we might have driven to Montreal--we heard it was lovely this time of year. After our journey north we stopped back through CT where we caught a disappointing football game, made a fire and picked up a couple of stragglers. Then, we headed south of the Mason Dixon Line where we enjoyed one of the merriest turkey-days we've had in a long while, played an epic game of Yankee Trader, and got into a fight with a bear. THEN Momo and I picked up three tiny traveling companions and headed back West. We added approximately 4,600 miles to Momo's Camry, listened to an inhumane number of children's CDs, and somewhere along the way, it seems Premal and I became home owners.