"The World's Most Exciting Restaurant"

Casa Bonita looks like, well, as a writer for Westword aptly put it, "like Disney had [a love child with] Tijuana and left the goofy-looking bastard to fend for itself in a random strip mall on Colfax." His words--not mine. It is a bizarre--yet magical--place where (as their posters boast) one can observe daring cliff divers, enjoy strolling mariachis (who we always convince to sing a special birthday song--even when no one in our group is celebrating a birthday), witness exciting gunfights, explore underground caves, marvel at amazing magicians, dance with a Bermuda-short clad gorilla, and devour as many baskets full of the all-you-can-eat sopaipillas as possible! When we were younger, a visit to Casa Bonita was a treasured gift. Though we now recognize that the food has never been anything to write home about (the "piñata plate" consists of a shriveled corn tortilla "enchilada" covered in gloopy, lukewarm nacho cheese, a soggy taco shell with ground beef and wilted lettuce, and lard encrusted refried beans with beige fried rice), we still agree that the overall experience cannot be beat. So, last week, when One called and gave us the exciting news that she, Mr. One, and their adorable chillins had arranged to stop in Denver for the night, we knew in an instant that Casa Bonita was the only place to go!

Lovin in my Oven...

I had plans to go to a pumpkin patch with Princess H, One, and Tiny, but someone (Princess H, I’m looking your way) got sick and put a hold on my holiday merriment.

Two things about this photo 1) I'm not sure what happened to my picture, but I LIKE it!
2) I did indeed take my cookies to the porch for a glamour shot

But I wasn’t about to let a 2 year-old with a weak immune system ruin my day, so I set to work making one of my favorite cookies. They’re luscious and chocolaty with a fruity punch from the wine and dried fruit. As my trusty stand mixer Yenta transformed the butter and sugar into fluffy peaks, I realized how grateful I was to have her in my life. A lot of people choose to wait until they’re married before they taste the forbidden fruits of the Kitchenaid mixer, but I’m too impatient, too reckless, too hungry. So I succumbed, and satisfied my desire. And you know what? I haven’t regretted it once.

The Top Five Things
in your kitchen
that shouldn’t wait for marriage

5) Storage containers. This might sound silly, but, I don’t like flimsy little glad-wares that I can never find the matching lid for. Buy some that you’ll like and use, and then pack tomorrow’s lunch in ‘em.

4) An enameled caste-iron pot. I recently acquired one, and while it’s not the Caribbean Blue Le Creuset that I lust after, it was about 1/6th the price and still makes a mean loaf of bread.

3) A good blender. Brother C got me one for my birthday a couple years ago, and I use it constantly. In the summer I make smoothies (and milkshakes), and in the winter I probably eat pureed soups 2 or 3 times a week. I love me some liquid nutrition!

2) A Kitchenaid. Guys dig kitchenaids. or maybe it’s the cookies that seem to spring fully formed from their gears...

And finally, the Number 1 kitchen tool no single person should be without...
Knives! Who needs a man(or lady)-o-steel when you’ve got a block-o-steel in the kitchen keeping you safe.

Walking in a Wegmans Wonderland

Wegmans in Pittsford, NY (outside of Rochester), Wegman's youngest shoppers, flowers, squash, apples; shitake, pom pom, truffle mushrooms; Keeper of black truffles aka Mushroom Man ( only 299.99 a lb.); More mushrooms, garlic, bagels, baguettes; Juice man, cheese shoppe, patisserie, international news stand; Octopus, wood burning oven for bread, Executive chefs, fish monger's catch; Tuscan kettle, custom mix teas, tea bar & loose and packaged teas; candy store. PS. All photos by moi. Four and Five know what an accomplishment this is.

The Y Master has been telling me about Wegmans for years. According to him, the Wegmans in Rochester is just about the most miraculous grocery shopping experience available. I roll my eyes as he tells me yet again about its unparalleled selection, affordability and sheer beauty. Gag.

That is until this past week when...

I finally partook in this miraculous retail experience. Trust me, the hype is merited.

I give you my
top five of Wegmans, Wonder of the World:

1. The fresh juice man who gave me an entire fresh coconut to "sample."

2. Wood burning stove that makes over 50 different kinds of bread.

3. THREE -- count them -- THREE different veggie preparation stations.

4. Did I mention they give you samples ALL of the time?

5. When I was taking pictures in the store and told an older woman, "it's just so exciting" her reply was "Honey, I completely understand!"

Y Master, you were right. Wegmans is, without a doubt, a wonder of the grocery shopping world.

Mr. Wegman himself, may he rest in peace and watch in joy as we all partake in the fruits of his labor. a ha. a ha. They sell fruit...? That wasn't funny.... hmm...

Post Wegman's party at the Wedding. . . wait. . . . I am so confused.

Ghetto Fatigue

After 13 years(!) of living in the corrupted northeast corridor and beyond, my Colorado heart itches for big sprawling spaces, skies that actually get dark and dear old friends. Our dreamy visit to my mom's house and some QT with Mr. One’s family reminded me why I so crave that Rocky Mountain High. We had a glorious time (and I have the pictures to prove it. What I don't have is the cord to retrieve said pictures from my camera. Next week, friends, I promise!!).

While frolicking in that bucolic land of friendly people and abundant parking spaces, our urban world kept chugging along. And not really in a good way. Don’t get me wrong -- I love my city. Sometimes I think I want to stay Right Here forever. But when the West beckons with the siren call of better weather and better schools, and Home beckons with, well, sirens, the contrast can lead to that widespread ailment of the Conflicted Urbanite: Ghetto Fatigue.

Top 5 Symptoms of Ghetto Fatigue

as indicated by actual events of the last couple weeks

1. You wonder if urban homesteading might be more pleasant in a rural environment.

2. You are annoyed upon receiving notice of an impending fine because someone tagged your front steps (rather than just being grateful that the police are keeping an eye on your neighborhood!)

3. You tell your sisters you’re headed “downtown” to buy milk. In LaVeta, Colorado. Population 834.

4. You remain disturbed that your toddler prefers to toddle on pavement rather than grass.

5. When the police call to let you know your car window was bashed in by thugsters, you think it might be a sign that you should trade it in for a minivan.

Happily, I think my case is pretty mild. A quick stroll around the neighborhood, (see picture below, courtesy my cell phone), proved a worthy remedy.

For now.

What the F. . . ish?!

About a year ago, we hosted a pair of boys, M and S, from the UAE. Both were affable punks, but S had a disturbing preoccupation with -- no joke -- murdering fish. As far as we knew, he had never actually acted on these feelings--not even catch and release fishing--but he was obsessed with the topic. However, after a few weeks, Four and I began to fear that S was planning to actuate his ominous musings. We decided that the only course of action was to scare S straight away from his murderous intentions.

If someone close -- or not so close -- to you is suffering from pescicidal tendencies, I heartily recommend the following fintervention (oh HO! Pun obviously intended):

1: Legally purchase -- don't murder -- a whole dead fish. We got ours from
the bargain section of the fish counter. . . which is officially sketch.

2: Transfer entire fish to airtight, translucent bag. This step is optional

depending on how much you care about fish stank and how much you

want to freak out the object of your intervention.

3: Attach fish, bagged or unbagged, to a string.

4: Hang fish just shy of eye-level in front of a door frequented by the

potential fish-murderer, preferably one that will not be opened by

someone other than the fish-murderer. Though, come to think of

it, doing otherwise could be really fun too.

5: Name dead fish.

Cleopatro, a brave fish sacrificed for the sake of his underwater brethren

To ensure that the intervention has been successful, stay within earshot of door. If you hear a scream, shriek, or yelp, rest assured that the subject will not harm fish anytime soon. However, if your ears are met with vicious laughter or audible lip-smacking, you may have bigger problems to deal with.

Note: Four and I are practicing vegetarians, so we suggest taking the above specified actions only in the direst of situations. For less serious instances, this should serve as adequate retribution for troubling behaviors.

Celtic Fest

Last week, One, Two, Five, Mom, Princess H, Tiny and I had the pleasure of visiting our wonderful grandmother in La Veta, Colorado. Once a year, La Veta hosts a fantastic Celtic music festival. Musicians travel from England, Ireland, Scotland and across the U.S. to participate in a weekend of concerts, workshops, and ceili dances. It sounds kind of hokey--and it was--but we had oodles of fun!

The music was delightful, the food scrumptious and the company unparalleled.

The Secret Life of a Government Hack

Very few people know this about me, but I once danced backup for a hip-hop singer. The reasons for this uncharacteristic secrecy are as follows; 1 (one) when I say once, I mean once. 2 (two) it happened last week, and I've been holding in my excitement so as to give FIVE the exclusive on this report.

So here it is. I went to an MC Yogi concert, realized my inner goddess, and danced my booty off to boot. The concert was a perfect mix of things Dr. P and I love, yet don't really have in common. It was a rap/hip-hop concert, in a museum, with narrative songs based on stories Dr. P learned as a child. PLUS it was free, and if there's anything I love more than Dr. P, dancing, and museums, it would have to be my sisters, but free stuff is pretty sweet too.

Speaking of free stuff... if you like this music video you can download the mp3 for, yes, free, here.