Q: So, I like this girl a lot and we have known each other for a long time. Recently we've gotten pretty close and I think she is starting to like me too, but I am not sure :(
Here are the details:
We spend about every minute we have the chance to together.
She bumps into me a lot when we walk.
When we aren't talking she just stares at my eyes and always says they are the prettiest ones she has ever seen.
I really don't want our friendship to end, but if she wants to take it farther I wanna know. Please help?!
A=5
One (As Channeled through Five and Two): Um. . . . . . we're trying, but it's not working. COME HOME ONE! We will say that One and Mr. One took their sweet time making any major moves. They went from friends to special friends to not friends at all several times, and now they're married, madly in love, with two kids. So take heart if it doesn't work out this time. If it's meant to be, you probably have a few years to figure it out.
Two (The Prude Who Exudes): So... I am wondering how old you are. You can say I don't have a life -- you might be a little right -- but I'm not big into teenage romances. Though One met her husband when she was 17 -- they didn't get married for eight years. Now that I have that out of the way, here's my advice: I don't know about other girls, but I am a little complicated. Even if I like a boy, if he moves too fast I feel suffocated and all I want to do is get out. Even if he doesn't, sometimes I feel that way. So I would say if you're of a reasonable age, start small and try to hold her hand. I know, I sound like I am five years old, but holding hands can be really nice. If she doesn't want to hold your hand, then it won't be too awkward to go back to being friends, as opposed to if you try to plant a big, juicy one on her... Yeah... that could be... awkward....
Three (Expert on These Things): It sounds like she likes you, but if you're looking for a more definite signal I would recommend using my "Lady-love Litmus Test." Guaranteed to be 100% accurate with the smallest chance of ruining an existing friendship. All you have to do is follow these 5 simple steps and you will know fo sho if she be diggin on you.
- Invite her to participate in a mundane activity (the bait). It is important that the bait is something you would normally do together (no dinner at the Ritz, yes coffee, movie, going to the park, etc.)
- Gauge her response. If she seems normal, or happy proceed to the next step. On the other hand if she acts weird and questions you ABORT! ABORT! ABORT! (note, this should not happen if you picked the activity according to my parameters.)
- Once she's agreed to accompany you, casually throw in the words "so it's a date (the switch)." Those 4 words set off an extremely complex chain reaction in any lady mind, and the final product is a reading on her romantic intentions.
- This is the most vital step of the test, so read thoroughly and be sure you understand before proceeding. There will be a reaction to the switch. No matter what this reaction is you must stare at her blankly. No smiles, grimaces, looking away AND/OR crying. Just stare at her and pretend she's discussing string thoery.
- Follow Through with the bait and see how she behaves. Is she dressed up? Did she let you pay? Does she seem nervous? If the answer to two or more of these is YES, then seal the deal and go in for the hand hold.
Four (Space Romancer): My answer depends a little on how old you are. But, if you are indeed old enough to fly on airplanes alone, congrats! Listen up. First things first, I commend you for taking your friendship seriously and not wanting to jeopardize it. From the things you've shared, it sounds like this girl likes you. Nevertheless, proceed with caution. It's really easy to see what we want to see. I've had people perceive my friendliness as much more--which is always a little uncomfortable. If you follow these steps, you should be able to circumvent that awkwardness.
- Do you have any mutual friends? I know it sounds a little middle school, but friends are great intermediaries. Try to get one of yours to ascertain her feelings about you.
- If the feedback is positive, ask her to do something with you. If you don't have any mutual friends, skip step one, but be careful. Make sure the invitation is casual. It has to be casual because (a) you don't want to scare her away, and (b) you want to give her an easy out.
- A lot of girls just will not make the first move, so you should. If she recoils when you try to hold her hand or gets tense when you put your arm around her shoulder, she probably isn't into you. However, if she seems comfortable, let things progress at a natural pace. If there's a mutual attraction, things should just fall into place.
Five (Passion Calculator): This all sounds très romantic, but I understand not wanted to screw up being ffs (I hope that the exclusion of 'b'was appropriate). I would turn to casual observance for elucidation of whether you should get comfortable being 'friends', or if this young lady wants you to graduate to 'special friends'.
Things to observe:
Is the time you're spending together in large groups?
Does she routinely have difficulty walking straight (perhaps due to vertigo, or uneven legs)?
Do you have the prettiest eyes in your geographic area/circle of friends?
If the answer to >1 question is no, I'd say that there's a pot of love a-bubbling between you two! Profess your burning desire to take her out to a movie and face-kiss together afterwards.
. . . but maybe not in those words.
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